A better way to Look at Rejection
That time could hours, minutes maybe days , months or even Years.
I don't know the Severity of your situation but I'm pretty sure it is Tough and it has greatly affected your smile, but what if I told you this Rejection could Actually be helpful to you...let that sink in...rejection being of service to you.
I have experienced Rejections a lot, I took them very personally but now that am older and I have learnt the reframe I'm about to teach you, You might also be able to find peace within this Rejection.
I also feel bad when I get Rejected, I occasionally curse myself out so we aren't striving to be perfect , we are striving to be the Best humans we can be while we are still alive, your Best could look perfect to others because that's where the word perfect comes from *out there* . It is what is out there that makes us beat ourselves up for not being that or this, never in the world, has your brain just wanted to beat you up for no other reason than that.
You saw/heard that you aren't supposed to be some way, you took it personally so you strive to be perfect.This is slightly tilted away from the message but it serves a similar purpose, showing you that you are beating yourself more than you should be, maybe the rejection of this Girl, made you think your friends wouldn't respect you, so if you looked at it from the view that this hurt has a lot more than it looks , you will start to know what to cut off.
Or maybe this is personal and has nothing to do with how people are going to view you and you feel lower in value because of that, that is exactly what happened to me , it wasn't what much of what happened out there that hurt but what happened inside that did.
When you get rejected , I know the pain , it refuses you to see the lesson and importance of it but give me the chance to convince you that maybe this rejection will be of service to you.
What is a Reframe?
This is a different way to look at a situation that is more positive yet realistic enough to allow you to keep optimistic to achieving a goal.
The Reframe I want you to obtain Is this:
Carefully examine your situation and think about what would happen if it went through. I am going to talk about relationships, would you be Happy,I guess so, how about the other person.
Would they have to wake up and say yeah, I have this person and am being polite to be them.
I know I wouldn't want my significant other thinking something like that, I would want them to feel proud of the catch they got, and I wish you begin to think that way too.
I am fully aware of how hard it was to swallow that statement, years ago it would have made me sick to my stomach or just feel like fading, but as painful as it sounds. It is one of the positive ways to look at Rejection, the other person wishing they got better and are just keeping you around because they are trying to be polite as human beings.
Another way to look at it is that down the line, the two of you wouldn't be a good team at solving challenges or handling a fight,which is really good thing to look at it, it's nice to know how to make each Other happy but its a whole new thing to handle each other respectfully in a fight , not where you are smiling and are playing with pillows but when both parties cross the lines and it's only bullets from there now what, would you be able to place your gun down along with your ego and surrender not caring about who is right or wrong but about fixing the issues because you value the relationship so much that you can sacrifice your ego and try to understand each other and talk out the load and fix things.
I know what you might be thinking, maybe it's not so important but trust me it is,Handling Conflict is a lot more important than how to have fun,because you can refuse/ be unable to have fun with the person you love the most because you are still mad at them so Conflict management is a really important Key.
Just make sure the person you are trying to work with is trying to see the Greater good come out, not wanting to be right and refuse to change.
When in tough times , always remember that rejection keeps two people who aren't meant for each other away from each other, think about the fact that the other person's opinion counts so they have to choose you too for the relationship to blossom.
I have given a lot of relationship tips but you really need to think about it :
1. Will this person be able to be satisfied by me?
2. Will we be able to handle Conflict In the future?
Now that we have talked about how to deal with rejections in relationships , let's talk about the other types like School rejection or Maybe Job Rejection.
It sucks , to get your Application turned down , I haven't been turned down by this yet but I have experienced something helpful.
My parents wanted to take me to a school I didn't want to go to but because I knew I would be yelled at or debated on,I kept quiet, on the day of the interview I messed up, when I was asked to speak and I kept silent because in full honesty I never wanted to tell my parents the truth of why I got expelled from my previous school, so yes I got Rejected and joined another school which I actually appreciate and from there I have met my new girlfriend💑 👫and though sometimes I fail to appreciate what she does or become hard on her 🙎at times , all her actions of unconditional love move me and are seriously challenging all the negative beliefs I have about myself one by one🙇
even things I didn't know I had believed I are seen clearly.
There is always another story for another day, but moving from what rejected me to what accepted me , got me peace.This new school accepted me , I never thought it was possible but I was taken in and have gotten a great Companion from it.
So rejection has pushed me away from what I wanted , slowly by slowly up to what I deserved and if maybe just maybe you believe that your story might turn out like mine, better or worse🙈.
Even if it doesn't get better that's okay, the Solution will come up some day, just make sure you don't take people or opportunities for Granted when they show up and you will be happier when things go well from that pursuit but what if you did take things for granted and are hurting from that loss, know that another Grand opporunity can come up if you allow yourself to see them or look out for them, you weren't as ready as you are now so why worry about that offer that just passed by , who knows what if it was a reminder to focus on what you need to do in order to gain it. Offers are unlimited but your life is limited , even just waking up in the morning is an offer from The Universe, you only have one life so go ahead and find out what happens in this one yet limited life.
Things might even get worse but know that there is peace to be found within the after math of a war, however much people have suffered , the attackers don't attack again so after a great number of years , peace restores but the memories don't fade away and that's okay, we can heal from that , but its better to heal in a safer place than in the same dangerous place.
💖i hope this was of service and maybe along the way stopped you from beating yourself up more or it made you stop to appreciate the pain of Rejection and it increased your self acceptance.
Thank you for reading , means a lot and Timothy loves you for going this far, you haven't commited suicide which means you believe Life can get better if you keep at Getting help or looking for such content , that's something to be grateful for, I know you will get over it some day and will be Happy.
Comments
Post a Comment